By Harlan Cohen
A good 10 or 15 pounds is all it takes to pop a button, split a seam, or bust a zipper. When it pops, splits, rips, tears, or busts it's time to get bigger pants. When an expectant father gets bigger pants during his partner's pregnancy, the new pants he wears are called "fat pants." That would mean the old pants hanging in his closet become his "skinny pants." That's how skinny pants are defined in the world of the expectant father.
Yes, we all know that eating too much and not exercising can make anyone fat, but there's more to the story of the expectant father. Some men might find that they experience a sympathetic pregnancy (no pregnant women, we're not looking for sympathy, we're being sympathetic) known as Couvade Syndrome. Couvade can result in a man experiencing hormonal shifts and taking on characteristics of his pregnant partner. One such symptom is acquiring a big belly. Instead of experiencing a belly filled with the miracle of life, a man experiences a belly filled with more than he's ever eaten in his life.
HERE'S HOW IT HAPPENS: The expectant father's belly begins to grow rapidly when a man's once salad-eating partner trades in her carrots for cookies, chips, chocolate, French fries, pizza, wings, hot dogs, onion rings, ice cream, cookies, nachos, mac and cheese, and anything else you would order from a bar menu at 3 am. While a pregnant woman's stomach can only hold a few wings or slices of pizza, a sympathetic man's stomach can hold all excess wings, pizza, and other scraps within arms reach. A sympathetic man will eat it all, proving his love one nacho at a time. On top of a man's sympathetic eating there's also the "Never Going To Eat Out Again Syndrome (NGTEOAS) " Many expectant fathers think once the baby is born, they will never eat out at a restaurant again (not true). Combine constantly eating out with an out-of-control appetite, giant portions, surging hormones, and her out-of-control ordering and you've got the perfect storm for dramatic weight gain. Figure six months at one pound a week and that's 24 pounds of sympathetic weight gain - a very sympathetic man, indeed.
Awareness is the first step toward prevention. So men, be aware that having a pregnant wife or girlfriend can make you fat. Exercising as a couple (only if she's up for it) is way of avoiding massive weight gain. Exercising on your own is another. Should you outgrow your skinny pants, go on a diet immediately. While she'll lose roughly half of her weight when the baby arrives, you'll just lose sleep. Yes, a good five or ten pounds will make your partner giggle with glee that her man is getting fat too, but the cuteness fades when you start fighting over who gets to wear the pregnancy bras. Gain just enough weight to support her, but not enough where you'll actually need support.
Dad-to-be Dairies "Skinny Pants" video